What's Good Husband Material?

Marriages may be made in heaven, but a lot go to hell later. Because I'm still married to husband number one, divorced girlfriends ask my advice about what they should look for in husband number two ... or three. My advice is free - and worth every penny. If I were husband shopping, intelligence and a sense of humor would be on the top of my list of requirements. Next on the list would be his having a good job. A job is good if he likes it and if it gets him out of the house. A job is great, however, if it pays well. I don't think money can buy happiness, but it can buy solutions for a lot of life's little unhappinesses. Fourth on my list would be attractiveness, which includes being well dressed. If a man doesn't take care of himself, he's going to expect his wife to do it. Oh, and tattoos and body piercings are definitely out. Who wants to watch an American flag droop or a brow ring sag? Being good with kids would be fifth - but not so good that he wants more. That would interfere with traveling. Home is where the heart is - no more. Because of the miracles of modern technology, hearts can be transplanted - away from having to clean, do laundry and cook. Because I don't like to cook, having an appetite for life would be sixth on my list; and this appetite should include wanting to eat out on a regular basis. And finally, good husband material should have a zest for living - that doesn't interfere with napping. When I tell my girlfriends what they should look for in a husband, they point out that I've described mine. I guess I have. He's not perfect, but his training wheels are off and it's been a good ride in spite of an occasional bump. If a marriage didn't have bumps, it would be a monarchy. My girlfriends, of course, don't see the bumps. They see Prince Charming's second cousin. If something happened to me - even if I were just in the hospital for a couple of days - they'd be on my doorstep with homemade casseroles. Voluntarily cooking for a man is a mistake because he'll expect home cooked meals - but I'm not planning to tell my girlfriends that. Any casseroles they bring for John are meals I won't have to cook.

About the Author

Knight Pierce Hirst takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com