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kphirst User Profile

User Name: kphirst
User Homepage: http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Location: United States
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Latest Published Articles

1: How Do You Say Equal In French?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 420 | Views: 4 | Rating: -1 )
Whoever said, "Don't judge a book by its cover" would probably advise not to judge a restaurant by its menu cover, but for one evening I felt like a French freedom fighter.

2: Would You Rather Be In Philadelphia?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 415 | Views: 3 | Rating: -1 )
I doubt if you have much in common with W.C. Field's. You probably never met Mae West or made a movie and you probably do like children. However, I bet you share a similar philosophy about life. I bet there are times you'd rather be in Philadelphia.

3: Are Sitters An Endangered Species?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 429 | Views: 3 | Rating: -1 )
There was a time not that long ago when getting a sitter was as easy as calling the girl down the block. Things have changed. Sitters are now an endangered species.

4: Is Self-Therapy Theraputic?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 424 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Life is a succession of problems - some big and some small. Self-therapy is there when you need it and it's free.

5: I Didn't Know - Did You?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 430 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Who knew chocolate cookies and milk is good news/bad news? Who knew I shouldn't have given away the seashell, wind chimes from Cousin Walter?

6: How Green Is Your Thumb?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 426 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Not everyone has a green thumb. Even those who do have green thumbs don't always use them as well as they could. The Jolly Green Giant used to advertise tiny, green peas.

7: What Couldn't You Do Without?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 421 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
Other than the necessities of life there's nothing we couldn't do without. However, there are some things that make our lives so much better we've become dependent on them. It would be like bread without butter or Wednesday night without "Lost".

8: Ever Envy Rip Van Winkle?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 421 | Views: 6 | Rating: -1 )
Nothing is as refreshing as a nap - well, nothing that's both free and good for you.

9: Want The Scoop?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 419 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Ice cream is America's favorite treat. If you know someone who doesn't like ice cream, ask to see their belly button. It's said that aliens don't have belly buttons.

10: Does It Have Your Stamp Of Approval?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 430 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
The U.S. Postal Service leaves a lot to be desired. If the government had been required to notify us by mail about the increased cost of mailing a letter, we'd still be paying thirty-nine cents.

11: Ever Had One Of Those Daze?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 425 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Every once in a while there is one of those daze that has a black cloud hanging over it. I can't see it from my prone position in bed. I get up - unfortunately not knowing I should have stayed in bed.

12: Is There A Job You Wouldn't Do?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 427 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
There are jobs I wouldn't do, jobs I wouldn't want to do and jobs I wouldn't be good at. Now it's my job to explain.

13: Are You A Good Sport?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 428 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
To be a good sport do you have to be good at a sport?

14: Are You Any Wiser?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 423 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
I thought getting wiser was one of the perks of getting older.

15: Do You Do Brunch?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 433 | Views: 4 | Rating: -1 )
People go out for brunch for different reasons. For some it's a holiday celebration. For others it's a social occasion. For me it's - laziness.

16: Are You In The Race?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 418 | Views: 4 | Rating: -1 )
The White Rabbit in "Alice In Wonderland" raced around yelling, "I'm late. I'm late - for a very important date". I've turned into a white rabbit.

17: Who Said Dogs Are Man's Best Friend?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 417 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
First they're your four-legged children, then playmates for your children, then companions to fill the empty nest. Pets are family.

18: Are They Driving You Crazy?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 415 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
When I was learning how to drive, I was taught to share the road. No one else on the California freeways seems to have been taught that lesson.

19: Are You An Optimist?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 420 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Optimists come in all shapes and sizes, in all colors and cultures. However, there are specific ways to tell which ones are optimists.

20: To Join Or Not To Join?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 420 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
I didn't start life as a joiner. I didn't intend to be a joiner. Somehow life caught up with me.

21: Have You Wanted To Be Free As The Wind?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 424 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
Everyone has times they want to escape reality. Those times are called fantasies and fantasies don't last long.

22: Are You What You Eat?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 430 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Food intolerances turn the word food - a word that evokes delicious memories - into one of those four-letter words used in bad taste.

23: Possessed By Your Possessions?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 429 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Do people who try to save the world also save string?

24: Can You Weather The Storm?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 419 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
"If You Don't Like The Weather, Wait a minute" - that's a New England expression. However,I came to a point in my life when I couldn't wait for snow to go away.

25: Is It A Rule?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 429 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
There are rules for everything. That is one of the rules of life.

26: Expecting The Unexpected?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 427 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
I used to want to scream when we had unexpected guests. Now I'm able to successfully fake a scream of joy when they arrive.

27: Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 423 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
As with everything else, love is found in the last place you look. What's most important is to keep looking until your expectations are surpassed.

28: Is A House Modeled Before It's Remodeled?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 417 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
At first remodeling seems like a good idea. However, there's a lot of time after that to question that idea.

29: Were The Good Old Days Better?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 423 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
I don't know if the good old days were better; but if I wait long enough, these will be the good old days.

30: Can Exercise Be Exorcised?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 421 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
I know exercise is healthy. I know it should be part of my daily routine. However, I think a vacation should be a vacation from exercise.

31: Do You Give Yourself Credit?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 422 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
There are plain credit cards and gold credit cards and platinum credit cards. There are credit cards that give you points for free gas and clothes and airline tickets. There's so much credit out there it's discreditable.

32: Who Ordered The Mail Order Catalogs?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 420 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
I didn't order the carving set that looked like drumsticks from a kitchen catalog and I didn't order the curried almond stuffing mix from a gourmet catalog. When it came to mail order, I'd gone cold turkey - again.

33: Are They Stories Or Lessons?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 413 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
As a child, I listened to fairy tales. Now as an adult, I can read between the lines of those tales.

34: Want Your Picture Taken Or Returned?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 424 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
Some people are photogenic. I'm not one of them. When it comes to cameras, I want to be out of the picture.

35: Are They Being Nosey?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 417 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
My grandmother had a name for people who exaggerated or told little, white lies. She called them Pinocchio noses and they're not just in fairy tales.

36: Are You Running On Automatic?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 413 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
On vacation one day rolls into the next and I forget what day it is. Not it's happening when I'm not on vacation. Unfortunately, the days aren't rolling by. They are whizzing by. It's like I'm running on automatic, but my breaks don't work.

37: Can You Compare Apples And Oranges?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 418 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
"Another day, another dollar". "Time waits for no man". "The bigger they are, the harder they fall". These are adages or truisms, but how true are they?

38: Are Television Commercials Rude?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 420 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Children are the most susceptible to television advertising. They believe ads. I want to believe. I want to believe the detergent will remove stains and the car is fuel efficient and that fairy godmothers are real.

39: Who's The Weaker Sex?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 475 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Although women don't play professional football or hit a golf ball as far or hit a tennis ball as hard as men do, I'm not sure women are the weaker sex.

40: Do You Remember Your School Daze?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 418 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". I learned that quote from Dickens' Tale of Two Cities in high school. I thought the quote was about high school.

41: When Is A Makeover Over?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 421 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Having seen the miracles of makeovers on television and in magazines, I decided to have one. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as far as my husband was concerned), life has a way of unmaking makeovers.

42: When Is It A Wine's Time?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 421 | Views: 2 | Rating: -1 )
I don't understand the complexities of wine. I know if it's a white wine or a red wine, if it should be chilled or served at room temperature and if it tastes good. Wine tasting isn't rocket science

43: Do Clothes Horses Wear Polo Shirts?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 413 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
If clothes make the man, woman constantly remake themselves and teenagers should make amends.

44: Have You Been To France?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 457 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
Some say Pris is for lovers. If it is, Provence is for lovers of food and wine and no bathroom scales.

45: What Do You Want In A President?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 452 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
The best argument in favor of cloning is our need for a person worthy of being President. Where are George Washington and Abraham Lincoln when we really need them?

46: Is Hurrying Stressful?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 411 | Views: 1 | Rating: -1 )
I identify with the White Rabbit in "Alice In Wonderland". He scurried around yelling, "I'm late, I'm late - for a very important date". I hurry instead of scurry and every day on the calendar is an important date for me.

47: Don't Babies Make The World Go Around?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 423 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
I was one, I had two, my two will have more. There's no shortage of babies, but each one is special - well maybe not quite as special during the terrible two's.

48: Tempted To Cruise Through Life?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 424 | Views: 3 | Rating: -1 )
I love cruises. My husband doesn't. We compromised by going on a small ship cruise. However, our cabin was so small, compromising positions were almost impossible.

49: Sick Of Eating Healthy?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 410 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
Coffee's good for you, then it isn't. Eggs are good for you, then they're not. Eating their words can't be good for nutritionists.

50: Was The Hula Hoop An Original Idea?

( Category: Humor | Word Count: 415 | Views: 0 | Rating: -1 )
A hula hoop is a combination of the hula movement and a hoop. Is that an original idea? Maybe God had the only original idea.


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